I'm lost

haiz... i don't know what is the main purpose for me to busy like hell in these few days. because of assignment??...ya..it is the one..after last sem...i just realize that actually i don't like press conference, i don't like write news release, i don't like interact or communicate with media...i don't like PR course..

i'm made a promise to myself which i will put effort on this course...i said that...自己选的路跪着也要走完。but now...I'm not compare myself with other,but it really very feel disappointed to myself@...

I don't have talent in creative thinking.
I don't have talent in designing.
I'm not good in english.
I'm not good in communication skills.
I'm not intelligent like wallance.
I'm not good in leadership skills.
I'm not pretty...
I have many bad behaviour...
I'm very easy influence by people...
jie xin.you are useless!!!!
you are idiot!!

what i suppose to do to improve myself?
join more events...listen and speak more english...i just will doubt is that really work??what i need to do to improve myself, to make me more better?

if you ask me what i want now..i will answer you..i really don't know what i want...
i really go to great trouble...i hate myself now...

i know my family members put their expectation on me..they hope me can successfully graduate from UTAR and can become a professional in my career.i hope so...i really do..

"jie xin, who are you?where are you now?"
I'm don't know...I'm lost...and I feel stress and tired...

I know...when a person become negative thinking, whatever she think must be in negative way...

who can change my mind?? who can motivate me??...

i just want i can graduate and work hard@... i want my dear parents retired and they can go for trip happily and enjoy their life~

i saw you in fb today, you look great~wish you happy everyday@~and...suddenly miss you a few minutes...hahaXD

我是一根草，随风飘。但我生命力强。。。

Jessie

1.51am

12.7.2013